Find the link from a friend's blog
here

Name: Jay
Date: 12/15/2008
Colorgenics Number: 17024365

---

At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration. Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. Your are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different.

Everything seems to be going against you at this time. Try as you may you are meeting with considerable resistance at every turn. Nothing is going as you would plan. The situation is difficult and you are trying to persist in your objectives against resistance. It would appear that you are being very secretive about your future plans just in case people around you try to thwart you.

You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realise these ambitions. You want to spread your wings - to broaden your fields of activities - but you are concerned that your dreams are just that - 'dreams' which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time - what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.

At the End of a Storm, there's a go... hurricane!!!

2 hectic weeks, I say
Dengan dosen2 yang berkomplot memberikan tugas tambahan untuk diserahkan saat final
dengan alasan "menambah nilai" (well kalo untuk finance, emang perlu se)
My hands getting numb, from typing & writing

Dan dosen yang jarang datang mengajar, datang2 memaksa untuk presentasi, dengan data dari perusahaan (hotel bintang 5 or equal, in my case), dalam 1 minggu
WTF? Emang ada ya yang bisa express kayak gitu?
Ujiannya 90 menit, untuk 6 soal uraian pula (my hand, my poor hand....)

Aniwe, end of a storm
Preparing to do the thesis in holiday
Whoever read this, please pray for Me
Moga2 nilai semester ini ga ada yg jeblok dan perlu diulang
Jadi cepet2 selesai kul s-2 ku

Period
Thanks

tag stuff to cheer up the mood

tag stuff to cheer up the mood

stolen from some DA journals..

RULES:

1. tag 10 people (not the one who sent it to you!)
2. answer all truthfully
3. take it in public!
4. tell all tagged on their profile that they have been tagged,
and link to your journal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars (maybe a few, but it's more than a few, I guess)
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing.
[ ] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city. (don't they know how different a city is at daylitght & night?)
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. (OH YEAH!)
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper. (I'm the dumper, damnit!)
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship. (Pengumpul, what do they say it in English? Collector?

Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world. (yes, I'm a great pretender..)
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.(when I play alone, that is)
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking. (well, almost)
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I've woken up crying.


Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[] I own an iPod or MP3 player. (broken now, darn)
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay. (outbidded many times)
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[ ] I can sing well. (I can sing, but not well)
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs. (I hate bugs)
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person. (NAAH)
[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. (so it wont be a random dangdut rightone... darn..!)
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam the opposite!
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, red or blue.
[ ] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes. (kinda pathetic, ja?)
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] All of those are answered honestly

I TAG:
10 orang pertama yg membaca blog ini.

So I am...

So I am...

..afraid of house lizard. That doesn's seem common, eh?

72 common fear, and I don't see cockroach on the list.

Here goes..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Fear…

[x] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[x] heights
[x] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 0

[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[x] deep water (I just can't learn how to swim)
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places (actually it depends on how high)
[ ] snow

Total so far: 2

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed (haven't yet, lets pray that it will never happen)
[ ] falling
[x] clowns
[ ] dolls
[x] large crowds of people (well, I hate crowds)
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes

Total so far: 0

[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 1

[] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secret

Final Total: 9

... if you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it I'm afraid of _ out of 72 common fears...

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars


~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As from where I tag myself
I tagged anyone who's willing to post this on their journal/blog

A house, not a home

Seorang temanku, terusir dari tempat yang biasa ia tinggali
Rumah tempat ia menumpang pada sang bibi
Bukan yang pertama kali
Ayah, ibu dari dulu sudah tak peduli

Jadi saat ini, ia tak punya tempat untuk sekedar berbaring dengan tenang

Semakin mempertanyakan apakah menjadi orangtua itu adalah pilihan
Saat orangtua berlagak ideal dengan anak2 yang mereka pilih
Sementara seorang anak tak pernah ada di ingatan
Menjadi orang tua memang mudah
Tapi menjadi orangtua yang baik tidak pernah mudah
Lebih mudah berkata kita tak pernah punya anak bermasalah
Dan selalu menjadi orangtua ideal

Orang2 yang membuatku muak menghirup udara yang sama dengan mereka

Atma, Parkiran, 22 Nov 07

Kampus, 22 November
Berangkat ke kul seperti biasa
Eh, parkiran ditutup
(Tumben penuh parkiran belakang ne)
Lalu parkir di depan dan ke kelas seperti biasa

Dan baru denger berita
Anak Hukum S1 Atma, pagi jatuh dari lantai 12 dan (tentu saja), mati
Anehnya posisi nya telentang dan kepala berada di dekat sisi dinding dalam parkiran
(silakan lihat di detik.com wad lebih detail)

Dan konsentrasi alkohol 80 mg/100%
(Minum sebanyak apa bisa setinggi itu?)
Bleh.....

Ordinary Days

Been weeks, I suppose?

Masi kul kayak biasa, well thats 1 of few things that keep me from bored, currently

Dan seperti biasa, proyek menerbitkan senyum dan decisiveness
Offering options (sebenarnya se, manipulation :D)
Its fun to watch the ball rolling on its own on direction we expect

And like I said to a friend, Now my long last wait project has come to fruition
Yah, menunggu lama untuk merasakan kepuasan ini, but man, its kinda worth it.

Jadi, Daku sedang ngomongin apa? Nay, just the usual. Burst of idea, short ones